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If you’re anything like me, the announcement of a potluck stirs in you two immediate responses.

1) Dammit.

2) What do I bring?

I’m not a selfish guy, but I can be pretty self-conscious about petty things (handshakes, phone call etiquette, eye-contact) and it follows that potlucks can fall into this dynamic of self-scrutiny, usually resulting in last-minute trips to the grocery store and awkward apologies for whatever I ended up bringing. So, I don’t always enjoy a good potluck. Mostly, I’m embarassed at whatever I brought (or didn’t bring) and a little reluctant to eat someone’s homemade goodness in the context of my contribution.

Luckily, with a little planning, you can master the potluck. Well, you can at least reduce the embarrassment/stress that accompanies your next invitation.

1) Premeditation. All potlucks are comprised of staple foods – culinary standards around which the event is built. If you’re planning on making/baking or otherwise preparing something, you’re probably better off talking to Zac – vaya con Dios.

 So, here’s what you do – decide in advance what you’re going to bring. Not only for the impending potluck, but for all future events that require you to bring a dish. Also, avoid becoming the “veggie platter guy” at all potlucks, by never (ever) bringing a veggie platter. And don’t worry about being the guy who always brings the same thing — we’ll address that later.

So, set a budget (15 bucks is usually sufficient) and pick a staple. Chips and salsa? Strong. Try organic blue corn tortilla chips and stop by your favorite Mexican restaurant for a cup of their freshest fare. Macaroni and Cheese? Swing by a local BBQ joint and order a few sides of the stuff. The key is to know in advance what you’re going to bring. This eliminates any decision-making anxiety.

2) Strike first, strike hard. – This is probably the most crucial step to executing your perfect potluck attendance. On the field of battle, and potlucks are battle, there is nothing more important than timeliness of execution – premeditation is wasted if you wait to respond.

 I cannot stress this enough – when you receive the potluck invitation, respond immediately. Stake your claim. Dig your flag into the tender soil of the upcoming event. Let the host know that, by God, you will be bringing the baked beans.

3) Know your enemy (host.) Now, here’s where creativity comes into play. By reducing the potluck to a science, you also reduce the sincerity of the invitation and your appreciation for it. If you’ve done things correctly, you’ve responded immediately with your predetermined item. With any luck, and with persistence, you will have trained your host to expect the item. Three or four events should make this intention clear.

But, you shouldn’t be satisfied with simply meeting minimum requirements for attendance – the better man goes deeper. Pause, and reflect on your host. What does he drink? What does she talk about? If your host is into craft beer, stop and grab a six-pack or a growler-fill of his favorite ale. If she’s into sweets, pick up a pack of four different singles from a cupcake-only shop.

Of course, work potlucks are different. They might be organized, but there may not be a single-point of administration. Play it safe by doubling up on something everyone likes. So, if sodas and napkins are your standby, add some cookies from the grocery-store bakery to your bounty. Even if someone’s brought cookies, it’s a scientific fact that exactly 0% of co-workers are made upset by additional cookies.

Food is good, people are good – with a little planning, creativity and thoughful execution – potlucks can finally be, too.