There’s an edict out there, and each of us has read it. Hell, most of us know it by heart. It reads of polarization – that we are one thing or another. We recite it each morning and wear it like an undershirt everywhere we go.

You are this, or you are that – and an interest in “this” precludes an interest in “that.”
And, there’s a hundred stories about men you know – grotesque, caricatures of the gender.  Men with big jobs and bigger heads. Musclebound and still small. Big jobs and little lives.

There’s nothing wrong with trucks or biceps, we’re born with strength – we’re born with the virility to move an armoir or carry a woman over a threshold. To lead, to make decisions.But with that comes a hundred narratives competing for our strength – magazines, Jersey Shore, money, ambition and lust have profoundly lowered the bar for us. They sell it well, don’t they? These damning rhythms- they think they know us, and they’re right. They know that if they capture our identity, they capture the man. And the man is dangerous. He leads, he makes decisions. For most of us, this ethos has left us indebted to a empty system full of empty men and vaporous ambition. And we’re left exhausted and empty from chasing down someone else’s dream.But that’s not you. At least, it won’t be you, soon. You’re moving out of the narrows and into an adventure you’ve been built for and beckoned by. You’re coming alive, and you know it. It’s a good feeling, it’s terrifying, but it’s good.

Enter: The Better Man. The Better Man is iconic and dynamic. He is– at once, many things and remains defined by none of them. The Better Man goes first. The Better Man stays latest. The Better Man laughs loud and deep. He makes eye contact and means what he says.The Better Man works hard. He makes mistakes and he falls forward. He learns and loves and listens. And the Better Man is a broken man, healed by time and grace and sweat. He’s taken some beats and he’s been made stronger in the broken places.The Better Man has the difficult conversation – not because he enjoys it – because it’s necessary, for you and for him. Afterwards, you are each stronger in the broken places. The Better Man is strong enough to offer help, and weak enough to know when he needs it. The Better Man is smart enough not to go it alone.Magazines and MTV would have us believe that they know what a man looks like. That image should be expensive and sex should be cheap. What’s worse is is that they want us to feel that we’re all out here anonymous alone – our hollow bodies weightless in space, pushed and pulled by manufactured gravity. Because if we don’t know who we are, we’ll listen to them.But that isn’t us anymore. We’re coming alive, and we know it.

 If I know anything, it’s that I know very little, so the smartest thing I’ve ever done was to  ask for help. There are a lot of brilliant people out there, and I was able to con some of them  to writing here with me. I hope you’ll join us for conversation and community as we seek  to learn what it means to be The Better Man.  The better man is not everyman, but  he is any man. 

Be good.