You’re busy, I know, so I won’t take too much time. I’ve got a few ideas about our company I thought you might be interested in.

The boss, get it?

1) Start building an infrastructure that will allow us to work remotely. Gone are the days of slogging our way into the office and fighting the evening’s traffic. If it’s a trust issue, well, you shouldn’t be hiring anyone you don’t trust. If it’s a security issue, get over yourself. The internet is a heck of a lot safer than keeping a Narnia-sized file library full of completely compromise-able physical. documents.

Yes, there will be challenges. You’ll have to schedule meetings in remote offices, coffeeshops and restaurants, but with what you’ll save by not housing a bunch of bored people, you’ll be be able to buy our lunches. Skype, Instant Messenger and, even the old-fashioned conference call are all beautiful resources for connecting in real-time. Consider hosting a cloud server and giving us remote desktop accessibility, we’ll meet you there.

Of course, meetings will have to change, which is okay because…

2. Meetings Suck. Seriously. In my experience, most of these round-robin talk-fests actually inhibit productivity by keeping us from our desks, sales calls, clients and research. Of course, they aren’t always without merit, but, if we’re going to get down to the real meat of the meeting, we need a Pangaea-scale shift in the entire dynamic. A few notes about meetings:

• Make them necessary. Most meetings can be avoided with better, proactive communication. Too many meetings are called in order to “set a record straight” or “clarify a few things.” Take note, leader, this happened because the original information was communicated poorly. We should have heard the news from a single, unified source. Instead, a version of it was leaked and left to the rumor-mill to put the finishing touches on it. Bad call. If it’s not possible to address the news immediately, be certain to secure it confidentially until it is.
• Have an agenda and stick to it. The agenda is the scaffolding around which the entire meeting hangs. It should be well-groomed and free from all excess. If you’ve called the meeting, you owe it to yourself to make it count. You owe it to us to make it worth it.

3) Invest in your culture. If you’re going to expect us to weather a few storms, be sure there’s something worth weathering them for. Hint: it’s not about the money. If you keep chasing your best employees with money, don’t be surprised when they follow it somewhere else. Money is great, but only for so long. Give us a deeper story to join and we’ll return allegiance, confidence, creativity and innovation.

I realize that the challenge here is to recognize that “investing in your culture” doesn’t always ostensibly add to the “bottom line.” But, over an extended period of time, given the cost of employee turnover, training and re-training and momentum-loss, I’m willing to bet the culture-investment you make today will return handsomely over the coming years.

I truly appreciate your time. Give me a call if you need anything – I’ll be at home, working harder than ever.

There are lots of things I try to avoid, the following are two of the highest on that list.

1) Getting hurt. 

2) Paying money to get hurt. 

So, it follows that the dentist ranks up there among my “places I’d rather have an asthma attack than visit” list.

That said, I went to the dentist tonight. My first appointment since a enduring a nuclear tooth extraction in June which caused some swelling. And by “some swelling” I mean I bore a resemblance to a person somewhere between Alvin and Louis Armstrong. I also cried.

But tonight was different. I returned to my family’s dentist, a gentle Indian man who knows where my dad works and my baby sister by name. He holds handshakes long and lets his patients know that, no matter what, he can do something to help them.

And, as I gulped greedily on that wild cocktail of fear, shame and relief served exclusively in the dentist’s chair, I started wondering if that’s all we’re really looking for, anyway. From our friends, from our loves, from our families, from our church. Maybe even from God. I think we get so lost in the leadership lessons and the tough-love last-stands that we forget that most of us just need to be reminded that hope still exists.

I’ve had no formal counseling education but in my study of the human condition, and of my own colorful brokenness, I’ve come to believe a few things about healing. I’ve come to think that most of us are truly only looking to know two things.

1) We aren’t alone. 

2) It gets better. 

It’s my experience that, until I know these two things, until I believe them, I cannot truly believe in a strength chief enough to rescue someone as broken as I am. I think that’s what God means to do with humanity and I think it’s all kinds of brilliant that we’re given the opportunity to give these two gifts to… everyone we know.

And, good style is really important. Whether it’s clothes or communication – the better man has it. Luckily, style isn’t inherent. It’s not a right exclusively guaranteed to some and not to others – it’s a discipline available to all who’d chase it. Whether you’re writing a book, choosing your next career (or simply, your next dinner) – style matters.

Start here. Be inspired.

  Park & Bond – Awesome fashion that, depending on your the size of your paycheck (and, if you live in California, your mortgage) might not not fit your budget, but it’s a great place for inspiration. Go here, and head immediately to H&M and find something similar. Also, there’s articles about moustaches.

 Uncrate – I almost feel guilty for posting this. If you haven’t been to uncrate, please exercise the deepest of caution when visiting; you’re going to want to buy everything they’ve got. From Jerky-Guns (yep) to badass Broncos. It’s pretty much got every kind of gadget/car/gear a man could ever dream up. Most of the site could double as a wishlist for Tony Stark; SkyMall with stuff you actually want. But, be careful; it’s easy for headphones you use and the Honda in your driveway to look a little less shiny once you’ve thumbed through pages of Astin Martins and $1000 headphones

Fast Company Design – One of my favorite magazines has an entire site dedicated to design. Fast Company is a brilliant resource for new perspectives on business, and their design-dedicated site is no different. Here, they highlight creative ventures, beautiful design and businesses who just GET it. Read 5 articles this weekend and be 50% more creative by Monday.

BittBox – A great resource for hi-res textures, brushes and vectors. If that last sentence sounds something like Klingon, fear not – there’s stuff here for you, too. BittBox is mainly a resource for graphic designers, but it’s also a good place for aesthetic inspiration. Most of us spend a substantial amount of time on the internet, and many of us contribute regularly to blogs and other media, BittBox is a great place to gather ideas, and free design tools to help you do something about them.

 The Cool Hunter – CAUTION: Do not visit unless you’ve got a substantial amount of free time begging to be squandered. This is a brilliantly curated blog/site dedicated to all things awesome. From photos of great advertisements to offices you want to work in to bars you want to visit after work… I’m convinced that anything “cool” finds its way to this site eventually.

“Are people still getting jobs anymore?”

So, now what?

3) Build your own opportunity – The internet has made it possible for anyone with a reliable connection to build their own business. Right. We know that.If you stay up late enough at night, you’ll see at least twelve infomercials promising to make you a stay-at-home-millionaire. And, honeslty, I actually believe that that’s POSSIBLE, I know people who do it. But not all of us have the discipline, drive or desire to build an e-commerce empire or otherwise monetize ourselves online. And, that’s fine – and that’s not what I mean.

“We are made in the image of God; we carry within us the desire for our true life of intimacy and adventure. To say we want less than that is to lie.” John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We’ve Only Dreamed of

“Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger in the long run is no safer that outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.” Helen Keller

“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.” St. Augustine

1) Dammit.

2) What do I bring?

I’m not a selfish guy, but I can be pretty self-conscious about petty things (handshakes, phone call etiquette, eye-contact) and it follows that potlucks can fall into this dynamic of self-scrutiny, usually resulting in last-minute trips to the grocery store and awkward apologies for whatever I ended up bringing. So, I don’t always enjoy a good potluck. Mostly, I’m embarassed at whatever I brought (or didn’t bring) and a little reluctant to eat someone’s homemade goodness in the context of my contribution.

Luckily, with a little planning, you can master the potluck. Well, you can at least reduce the embarrassment/stress that accompanies your next invitation.

1) Premeditation. All potlucks are comprised of staple foods – culinary standards around which the event is built. If you’re planning on making/baking or otherwise preparing something, you’re probably better off talking to Zac – vaya con Dios.

 So, here’s what you do – decide in advance what you’re going to bring. Not only for the impending potluck, but for all future events that require you to bring a dish. Also, avoid becoming the “veggie platter guy” at all potlucks, by never (ever) bringing a veggie platter. And don’t worry about being the guy who always brings the same thing — we’ll address that later.

So, set a budget (15 bucks is usually sufficient) and pick a staple. Chips and salsa? Strong. Try organic blue corn tortilla chips and stop by your favorite Mexican restaurant for a cup of their freshest fare. Macaroni and Cheese? Swing by a local BBQ joint and order a few sides of the stuff. The key is to know in advance what you’re going to bring. This eliminates any decision-making anxiety.

2) Strike first, strike hard. – This is probably the most crucial step to executing your perfect potluck attendance. On the field of battle, and potlucks are battle, there is nothing more important than timeliness of execution – premeditation is wasted if you wait to respond.

 I cannot stress this enough – when you receive the potluck invitation, respond immediately. Stake your claim. Dig your flag into the tender soil of the upcoming event. Let the host know that, by God, you will be bringing the baked beans.

3) Know your enemy (host.) Now, here’s where creativity comes into play. By reducing the potluck to a science, you also reduce the sincerity of the invitation and your appreciation for it. If you’ve done things correctly, you’ve responded immediately with your predetermined item. With any luck, and with persistence, you will have trained your host to expect the item. Three or four events should make this intention clear.

But, you shouldn’t be satisfied with simply meeting minimum requirements for attendance – the better man goes deeper. Pause, and reflect on your host. What does he drink? What does she talk about? If your host is into craft beer, stop and grab a six-pack or a growler-fill of his favorite ale. If she’s into sweets, pick up a pack of four different singles from a cupcake-only shop.

Of course, work potlucks are different. They might be organized, but there may not be a single-point of administration. Play it safe by doubling up on something everyone likes. So, if sodas and napkins are your standby, add some cookies from the grocery-store bakery to your bounty. Even if someone’s brought cookies, it’s a scientific fact that exactly 0% of co-workers are made upset by additional cookies.

Food is good, people are good – with a little planning, creativity and thoughful execution – potlucks can finally be, too.

There’s a certain introspection that (I believe) comes only from writing. So, writing with the intention of publishing something each day ushers in a wonderful dynamic. When you’re trying to create and post a coherent blog everyday, the world looks a little different. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true. Conversations become inspirations, the rough surface of the day is mined for its precious metals, thoughts become words, and sometimes, those words become actions.

It’s a good thing and you should join us.

Seriously.

We’re calling it “November Blogfest” and, though I hate the name, we’ll be tweeting and emailing with the hashtag #novemberblogfest – so, if you’re going to write, be sure to let us know. Also, prepare to be encouraged, challenged and inspired. There are some truly amazing people participating. If you’re local, (Southern California) there might even be a meetup at the end of November (if I can talk someone into setting it up.)

Like I said, you should join us.

I am positive that I’ve seen every one of these images of my dad. Looking back, I’m thankful for each of them and looking forward to looking more like him.

I’m thankful to know a man in whom I see myself.

Thanks to Chase Reeves, who writes at Father Apprentice for sharing the video.
Image credit: Koba.se 

Talk with anyone 25 years old or older and I guarantee it’s among the first of three (at most, three) introductory questions. You’ll offer your name, followed by some easy commentary: “Crazy night, huh?”  “How do you know John/the groom/my brother?”

And,  inevitably the question comes.

“What do you do?”

For some of us, the question is met with pride, or something like relief. Finally, we’re given opportunity to announce our station. You clear your throat and announce yourself the way you’ve practiced. Maybe your job title rings of prestige or respect or earning power and you’re now allowed to soak in the validation afforded by it.

And, for others, the answer comes with sheepish indifference, usually followed by some kind of qualifier. “I work in a warehouse, but I’m going to school to be a teacher” or “I’m a teacher, but I’m starting a small business.”

And so the conversation continues, starting with your job and working from there.

I do it all the time. It’s an awkward thing to ask someone about their story, about the deep stuff. So, out of comfort, I ask about the easy stuff. It sounds like I’m making conversation but what I’m really doing is sharpening my ability to stereotype (when you’re real good like me, you call it “discernment”) by measuring them against my imagination.

It’s the ultimate question in failure, and one for which a correct answer doesn’t exist. Any answer the person gives is immediately measured against our unique and distinct emotional history with that occupation. We’re asking a new person to play a mind-reading trivia game against all of our past experiences.  And every assumption is never fully accurate and always fully unfair. I’m truly ashamed at the amount of times those four words have irretrievably and indiscriminately reduced a person to a position.

But, since when has the way someone converts time to money ever been a sufficient look into their lives?

The truth is, I cannot know someone by knowing their economic dynamic. The good stuff, the real stuff is the deep stuff. I don’t think you can know a heart or why it beats by knowing how it spends eight hours of the day.

“I’m a lawyer”
“I’m a teacher”
“I work in a warehouse”
“I work in a restaurant”

How disappointing it would be to realize that what you do for 8-10 hours a day has become your identity, your single identifying trait worn proudly/humbly/begrudgingly as a badge of introduction.

I think the offense goes beyond the laziness of the person asking the question; the responsibility rests on each of our shoulders. There’s a worldly systemic plague that equates “occupation” with identity. And for too long, we’ve supported the idea that our validation comes from our occupation. Our hope replaced by our business card, our mutual link to the understanding of another. We’ve traded passion for pretense.

What if we chose not to ask the question? What if we decided that the value of a person is found in his passion or in her heart. There’s too many proving this wrong. I know guys in “noble” occupations who aren’t noble people, and I know just as many who carry out mundane tasks with the heart of a warrior. I know teachers who “do it for the money,” and lawyers who wish they were teachers. The messy part is that you have to know someone to know that they aren’t the sum of their workplace responsibilities.

What if, when someone asks us “what we do” – we answered in passion, rather than position?

I’m a writer.
I’m a runner.
I’m repairing my marriage.
I serve the local homeless on the weekends.
I’m a good friend.
I’m a good dad. 

It will be awkward and messy and definitely a little weird, but I’m positive it will bring relief. It won’t be easy, but the good stuff rarely is.

So, what do you do?